Can you have it all in life?

PRIORITIES and SACRIFICES:

I think we get so caught up in wanting it all, all the time, now.

You really can have it all, but to some degree. I think you can have a great career and a good relationship. You can be fit and still go out for dinner, you can eat non nutritious foods and still be "healthy" you can be honest, evolve, move on from people and still be a nice person.

But there will always be sacrifices and priority shifts.

What I notice in my job is that often people aren't up for that. It's an extremes game. It's all or nothing. Even when thats proved to them time and time again, to be ineffective.

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In some cases, some people aren't willing to give up a whole pizza in exchange for half a pizza, or they won't swap the full fat coke for the diet coke. They won't stop the cardio even if that no longer sees them results. They would rather burn out and do it all or eat all the foods than compromise and half some of them. And yet. Your lifestyle would be so much more manageable, likeable, doable, approachable if we could all find this balance. 

On the other hand you don't want to sacrifice anything and yet on the other hand, you want every goal of you've ever wanted, like yesterday.  

You can have the burger and fries and still have abs. But at some points on your journey you may be better off making a better choice. You have to decide what you want the most. For me and my clients I want them to eat the burger and then not feel shit. I want that for them cos if its a choice of burger or abs, the burger always wins. 

But, we could have the burger and a body that we feel comfy in. The compromise could be the abs. Cos abs wont promise you comfort in the skin anyways.  

You can have a career and still make time for your loved ones but sometimes the priority will be your husband and other times it will be the job. But every day you may not get all your work in as well as quality time with your husband. So you prioritise on any given day. 

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You can be healthy and eat non nutritious foods. But some days you make better choices and other days you decide your soul health is more important.  But you have to be accountable. You have to make decisions. You have to be ok with your choice to eat junk if you want junk. You should be ok with that. Some days you want to cry into a pint of ice cream. That. Is. Ok. And if that means it slows progress down on whatever body goal journey you are on. Please let it and trust that today, that was the priority YOU chose. 

I think that main thing is, if we all started being in it for the process and not the end result. We would all enjoy it so much more. The choices we made wouldnt be so all or nothingy.  

It's not the end of the world that some meals I eat for fuel and nutrition more than my taste buds and soul (yes there's a compromise) but some days I am willing to not eat the most delicious thing on the menu cos I know the next day I'm going to my fav restaurant where I will have the non nutritious meal then. That compromise is ok for me. I don't regret or resent finding that balance. But there is a balance.  

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If you really think about it. The compramise is not that much of a sacrifice. Most compromises you make on this "lifestyle" change will be beneficial to you. Choosing not to work late every night and prioritising your husband sometimes will benefit you. You will be happier and less resentful therefore it will benefit your work too when you next go in, refreshed and happy.  

Choosing the sea bass and French fries but not the pudding might make you feel less bloated or sluggish and therefore you stay awake to watch the crime documentary you planned to watch. With hubby. 

Choosing to wake up 3 mornings a week early to go train doesnt have to be the end of the world, perhaps starting 3 days early means you get more done at work and you don't have to stay late every day.  

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Choosing to not eat a crossaint from Pret every morning and instead make some overnight oats means that you save money and have more energy balance leeway to enjoy a brunch with the girls on the weekend without sacrificing your body comp goals plus its just more nutritious for you and you feel fuller for longer at work. 

The priorities in your life should always be inline with what gives you a better quality, and is more in line with your values. Sometimes we are so hell bent on not changing or sacrificing cos we think it will mean our lives will be shit. But actually. 9 times out of 10 our lives become better.  

The long term gain for a short term sacrifice or priority shift can benefit us ten fold. It's not all doom and gloom.  

 

If I Could Squat My Boobs... I Would

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I've wanted a boob job since I was about 13. Not cos I want Pamela Anderson boobs. But cos at 10 years old I had bigger boobs than now (cos I was tubby) & at puberty I lost weight & consequently, boob, drastically. This meant I was left with (what the doc called) tubular boobs. & as he liked to point out "some cultures find these boobs rather attractive" ah yes. I'm sure they do... But having boobs that sag despite being small & feeling like I have golf balls at the end of a sock, never gave me the up most confidence...

Now being faced with something so blatantly in a juxtaposition between what I preach & what I feel makes sense to me, has caused a lot of thinking...

So here I am, thinking, out load, or on paper, well on screen anyhoot. 

So how do you justify getting something so cosmetic done, that is clearly for aesthetic purposes when what you preach, believe in, champion, is all about loving who you are, being enough and worthy and loving the skin you are in already. Because lets face it, if you have been around my Instagram for more than 5 minutes you will see, that's what I bang on about. A lot! 

It's a bit like my body image view point about weight... Don't get into the fitness lifestyle just to look good naked. Don't make it about a number on the scale and do not for one second think living (with the body you think you want) will make you happier than a My Little Pony eating rainbow glitter balls. 

Chasing this will NOT make you happy. Making progress, being proud of your achievements, seeing your hard work pay off... they all do make you feel great. They add to your happiness for sure. But standing in the mirror and seeing the body you thought you wanted, does not come with a pot full of joy. That bit. That takes work... That takes years of mindfullness, mindsettiing, patience, ups, downs, highs, lows until you have a familiar feeling of acceptance. 

Here's the thing with boobs. I cannot work on them, make progress with them. I can not use progressive overload on the flesh that has detached itself from my muscles and hangs in a tubular like fashion. Oh boy, if I could, Id be squatting these bad boys like there is no tomorrow, because nothing feels as good as seeing your hard work pay off. 

But also, like I see my weight/body image, it's the same thing... I am not getting a boob job to look good naked. I look pretty OK naked already. 9I worked for that and I am not embarrassed to admit it) This isn't about a number in my bra strap. I don't care to be a 34 HHHHjjbjbvdkjebvv... I'm a 32/B and I am quite happy to remain a 32B, if I wanted to go bigger, that's OK too, but I am not solely focused on this number and what I think it will mean to me. And lastly, I will not be under any illusions that a boob job will make me a happy My Little Pony. I already am one. Unless I am due on my period, or hangry, or walking behind someone really slow down Oxford street, then minus those occasions, I am quite content with my life, my body and who I am, what I look like and how I feel in my skin.

Then why get a boob job then? Ahhhh well that is the question I keep repeating to myself. WHY? What is the point if your so bloody happy Fanni ay? Really why bother? 

I am still typing without an immanent answer cos I really am not sure, hence the reschedule and hence why I am sharing, and also whenever I say hence I always think of Joey from friends... (if you know, you know) I guess my reasons lie here... I know it will not bring me happiness, but it will enhance my day to day life by being able to fill a bra properly. To be able to wear a triangle cut bikini top without it looking like I have saggy cones in them, to be able to wear a top without a bra and not see my boobs pointing to my shoes, to be able to lean over and not feel like they might dangle in the Biance's face in a very floppy eared fashion. To feel that the way I feel in my skin matches the way it may feel to hold the new boobs. To feel confident in my shape without the niggle of the droop that catches my eye. I think it will enhance my figure yes. I am bottom heavy and love my butt and thighs. I would like to feel the proportions match and feel as shapely as I have made myself on my fitness journey. 

And all these reasons are aesthetics. They are about how I look, making me feel a certain way, but I guess all I can say is that I feel a certain way already and would love that to reflect in how I look. Perky, upbeat, on top of the world. Not droopy, lifeless and down trodden lol. 

But here I am, quite a blog post in and I am still here unable to convince myself it is the best idea, which means no boob job until I am sure. I have been sure for 19 years and then this last year, I fell inlove with myself, and it's a bit like the Biance saying to me that he was gonna go under the knife to change something about him. Id be like "noooo, I love you the way you are." And I hear myself repeating it to me all the time lately. "Don't do it, your enough, you are great just the way you are". BUT, I also feel strongly that I would support the Biance if he fltl it was something he wanted to do. 

The take home, before embarking on that diet, buying that new dress, getting a boob job, is this... know, deep in your soul that it will not buy you happiness, BUT it may enhance your life in ways that perhaps someone won't get. They don't have to. IT IS NOT FOR THEM! I don't wear make up to appease other people, I wear it to enhance my face on the occasion as it's fun and I love expressing myself and I feel creative when I do. And no, boobs won't show my creativity, accept perhaps if I am being creative in the cold, but they will just be an add on to who I already am. Like boobs I always felt were mine, and finally found me. I wouldn't be anyone different, my values will still remain the same, but I will have the boobs that were meant to be mine before bad muscle fibres and gravity won. 

So until someone builds a "boob curl/hack boob, smith breast machine" dury's out. 

I will no doubt keep you updated via Instagram, so for now, adios and I shall see you over in the teeny square boxes where I share my life, my butt, opinions and lack of perky boobies.