I don't look like a go to the gym...

A client said to me today... "I don't look like I go to the gym"
I asked her to define what that meant.
"Abs, lean muscle, ya know..." Oh yeh I totally do know.
I look roughly the same as when I first started training. Albeit slight changes that I'm proud I worked for. But I don't have abs, I'm not under 20% BF, I dont necessarily look like I lift heavy and at the moment, I can't. (in context to what?) Magazines? Instagram feed?
(Please note before I go further I am not saying I am not lean or (conventionally not "in shape") but I don't look like a #fitspo with a 6 pack. I don't look how I assumed I should look for a) working in fitness b) having a fitness insta c) training consistently for 4 to 5 yrs.
Am I doing it wrong? Am I training my clients all wrong? Are you training wrong? Should you be doing 10000 burpees or more cardio or higher reps or power lifting or keto or...
You are not doing anything wrong. The system is fucked. The feed is full of out of context #gymnasiumdolphin ambassadors who quite frankly, arent living a lifestyle you are living.
When I did look like a #fitspo... I wasn't drinking. I was training 6 to 7 days a week. I was doing a shit ton of cardio. I wasn't eating out much. I was eating protein mousse for dessert. I was training 2 times a day sometimes 3. I was drinking 4lts of water. Meal prepping. Eating packs of prawns for snacks. Carrying tuna around with me. God forbid I even sat in a pub once and mixed #bcaas with my soda water. (No bcaas are not helpful, you live & learn)
This is not the lifestyle I waned to live all the time. The way I look now is a reflection of the lifestyle I want to live.
The reality is this. The lifestyle you want to live may not look on your body, how you want it to look.
I know. The devil's work. 🤷🏽‍♀️
But what if the lifestyle you want to live makes you feel amazing.

Most clients come to me fearing food. Wanting balance. Craving dessert. Guilty for days that consist of French fries. Not knowing how to lift or use training to feel better/stronger. They are often doing classes galore & burning themselves out or doing nothing at all & feeling sluggish.

Most clients dont need much tweaking in there lifestyle to make it better. It's usually simple things. But usually those things don't feel good enough.  

I see no progress? But you've trained consistently for a year compared to giving up every 8 weeks? 

But I don't have abs? But your legs have gained so much definition and shape. 

But I don't have a butt that looks like Sommer Ray? But you don't eat take away every day anymore and wake up feeling better 8 times out of 10 than the 0 times you used to?  

You dont look like you train? Yes. Yes you do. You're form is insanely great, you live better, stand better, hold yourself better. You fuel yourself and you have the energy to come in 2 to 3 times a week. You're trousers fit your more comfortably and you can kick arse on the leg press. You do look and seem like you train. Just what you think that looks like is different to the reality.  

A lot of the girls that look like they train (not all) but a lot. Live out of tuppawares, fear eating out, don't drink, do this fitspo life for a living, are 22, don't work full time in an office that go for work drinks every thurs andnfriday night, fear dessert, restrict/binge, are cutting constantly, are scared of weight gain, are not always telling the truth about what they do in the gym or what they eat or how much they think about all of the above. 

Or... They just genetically look like they train.  

Look I'm not saying to end up with a body "you" want for whatever reasons, means you have to either sacrifice your whole life or time travel and be reborn a viccy secrets model. But I am saying that the majority of what you see that looks like (that's how we should look of we train) is often not conducive to a lifestyle we are willing to give up in the process.  

If you want the above fitspo life to be your life. Your priority. Your soul goal. If you want the above, Go for it. It's yours for the taking. But if you want a bit of it all. A life, a few drinks, some sleep, some rest days, some burgers, some balance... then you may not have some abs or some 13% BF...

But you might have a perky butt and a BF% that keeps your menstrual cycle ticking and that may even take longer than you think. But it's worth it. Cos you feel effing great. Let go of what you think it looks like and embrace what this lifestyle looks like on you. 

You look like you have a balanced life. Own it. Appreciate it. And just keep at it. You don't need to look like anything in particular to justify how many times you go to the gym. 

You go. You rock. And... 

You are beautiful as you are.